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Parenting
with Gary & Anne Marie: Toddlers
Toddler Challenges at Mealtime
Mealtime provides a number
of challenges and opportunities to teach and learn. This particular category has
a number of subdivisions to follow. We begin with appetite versus hunger.
Appetite Versus Hunger
"My two-year-old seems hungry all the time, and then when I want him to
eat a meal with the family, he's not hungry." Parents in North America
have an unjustified phobia that their children are not getting enough food to
eat. As a result, mothers (more than fathers), tend to overfeed their children
starting when they're babies. In a discussion with a group of moms of one- and
two-year-olds, it became evident that confusion exists over the difference between
appetite and hunger.
Hunger is a biological response
triggered by a message sent to the brain when there is a drop in blood sugar.
This drop is the body's signal that it needs more fuel. Appetite, in contrast,
is not triggered by blood sugar, but by two senses-sight and smell. Appetite
has nothing to do with hunger. We eat because something looks or sounds goods
to us. For example, as I am typing this paragraph, my mind is thinking about
that piece of pizza left over from last night's dinner. My memory tells me that
it is something that I would like even though I just had breakfast two hours
ago.
Toddlers are the same as
adults. Many of their food wants are simply wants, not needs. We are not advising
that parents withhold food from a child when hunger is at stake, but rather
that they learn how to monitor real need. Keep your routine and have special
snack times, but do not fall prey to giving your child food just because he
asks for it. If you err in this, you may end up with the next problem.
Picky Eater
Like all people, your toddler will show preferences in taste. But don't be too
quick to say, "Oh, he doesn't like it," then offer something else.
While you will occasionally give him what he likes, you must also consider what
meets the needs and desires of the entire family. When it is age-appropriate,
offer your child the same foods your family normally eats.
Many finicky eaters are
created, not born. As a parent, evaluate your own relationship to food. Are
you overly concerned with nutritional intake? Are you yourself a picky eater?
Perhaps you are a junk food connoisseur. As hard as it may be, try not to pass
on any extreme preoccupation with food. Family mealtime and the kitchen table
should not become a war zone; try to make meals a pleasant experience for everyone.
Here are a few points
to consider:
- As mentioned above, Americans
tend to overfeed their children. Here are some guidelines for serving sizes:
one teaspoon per year of age per food. For example, if your toddler is two-years-old,
then he should be served two teaspoons of peas, two teaspoons of rice, two
teaspoons of applesauce, and so on. Schedule regular mealtimes, and stick
to them as much as possible. This will help maintain your child's hunger mechanism.
- Avoid giving your child
too much to drink. An appropriate amount for a drink is eight ounces. Sippy
cups are often ten to twelve ounces. Ten ounces of water given late in the
afternoon will cause the stomach to expand to the point that the child is
not sufficiently hungry at dinner to cooperatively eat foods that are not
his favorites.
- A child that eats too
little and just picks at meals is a child who is probably snacking too much
during the day. He is never hungry enough to eat full meals. Set the timer
at dinner; when it goes off, the meal is over. If your toddler hasn't finished
his meal, a reasonable consequence is the loss of dessert and or the snack
for tomorrow.
Snacks
Snacks are fun afternoon breaks, but like anything else, balance is needed.
A snack is not a second meal or a substitute for the next meal. How will you
know if you're offering too many snacks? Obviously your toddler's eating habits
will be affected. He will eat poorly at the next meal or become a picky eater.
If you see either happening, cut back on the amount of snacks offered, or cut
them out altogether. Here are a few helpful hints about snacking:
- You don't have to offer
a snack every day.
- Use moderation. Don't
let snacks detract from a hearty appetite.
- Don't use food to avoid
conflict. It's generally not wise to attempt to influence a child's behavior
by offering a snack.
- Do not use food to pacify
sad emotions.
- The place for snacking
should be consistent-such as in an infant seat or high chair. Avoid allowing
your child to crawl or walk around the house or store with a juice drink or
snack in his or her hand.
- As a general rule, offer
snacks in the afternoon, such as right after your child wakes up from a nap.
Article
by Gary Ezzo / Anne Marie Ezzo
