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Parenting
with Gary & Anne Marie: Preschool
Getting Your Preschooler Ready for Kindergarten
General Learning Skills
On a warm morning in late
summer, a group of adults clusters nervously together, waiting for the bell
to ring. Filled with anticipation and anxiety, they watch as their “hopes and dreams” line up and file into the classroom.
It’s the first day of kindergarten! It’s the beginning of a new
adventure! And it’s also report card day for every parent. Starting today,
Mom and Dad will be graded on how well they prepared their child for school.
Each family has made educational decisions (knowingly and unknowingly) during
the preschool years that either set in place healthy learning patterns or will
result in something short of acceptable. How do parents prepare for the former,
for the higher standard? The acceptable rather than the reproachable? Can healthy
learning patterns be served up like a plate of broccoli to assure academic
fortitude? Or is readiness for school achieved through flash card training
twenty minutes a day or listening to language tapes? If only it were that easy!
The first step in a balanced
approach to preschooler training is to develop a daily plan. The plan should
include a combination of independent activities and activities with a parent,
usually the child’s mother.
These activities will help develop general learning skills, specific learning
skills, and necessary social skills needed for the child to be well prepared
for attending school. The next step is to implement your plan. Here is what
you need to know.
What kind of general learning skills does a child need to possess in order
to be ready for school? The two bedrock skills necessary to build a firm foundation
for learning include a strong attention span and the ability to focus. Each
of these skills can be strengthened or weakened depending on how your preschooler
spends his time during the day. The child whose parents provide structured
learning is more mentally stimulated than the child who is given freedom of
choice during his waking hours. This point is better understood in our next
paragraph.
Attention Span
Jason says, “Candy Land.” Mom says, “Okay.” Jason
says, “Find me!” Mom says, “Where is he?” Jason says, “Build
blocks with me.” Mom says, “What shall we build?” Jason says, “I
don’t want to build.” So Mom, now confused, asks, “What DO
you want to do?” Poor Jason…he really doesn’t know!
If only Mom knew that
a child’s attention span develops
best in a structured environment. This means a thoughtful parent determines
the activities of the day, including the starting and stopping time of each
activity, directed by Mom not Jason. Left to choose for himself, a preschooler
will generally spend too much time flitting from one activity to another,
or following Mom around expecting her to entertain him. Flitting and following
generally lead to whining and discontent. Soon the child, like Jason, will
be characterized as having a very short attention span.
As you develop a daily
routine for your child, decide how long each activity will last. As your
child grows and matures, work on increasing the length of time he spends
happily engaged in each activity. This will increase your child’s
attention span.
Focusing Skills
Focusing is the ability to concentrate on an object or activity without being
distracted by surrounding sights and sounds. Your child needs this ability
in school so that he can complete an assignment in the face of distractions.
In a school setting, these distractions can occur from the children around
him, the decorations in the classroom, or noise from the playground. The ability
to focus is developed in children by giving them time to play by themselves.
It is important for you
to have a clear understanding of independent playtime in order for it to
be an effective part of your child’s daily
routine. Let me explain what independent playtime is not. It is not time when
your child chooses where to play, what to play with, and how long to play.
As we discussed, a preschooler is not capable of making these decisions wisely.
He will flit and follow and soon have a very short attention span.
Independent playtime begins
early. By the time a child is between eighteen to twenty-four months of age,
he should have developed the skill of learning how to spend forty-five minutes
to one hour of uninterrupted time playing. Concentration and creativity are
developed during independent play. The most important aspect of this time
is that your child is learning to focus on what he can do with the things
he has. This might involve playing with toys, puzzles, or books at an assigned
time in an assigned place. To facilitate this goal, be sure that he is by
himself, with no artificial forms of stimulation—meaning
no computer games, Gameboys, or videos. Nor should he be in a place where he
is easily distracted by watching you work or by listening to the vacuum cleaner
or your conversation on the phone.
Keep his toys developmentally
stimulating and challenging. One way this might be achieved is to rotate
his toys. Children easily become bored when there is nothing new to play
with. Put some toys away for a few weeks or months, and then reintroduce them
back into his play world. They will seem better than new because they are
familiar old friends.
Specific Skills
Flopping down a thirty-piece
puzzle in front of your preschooler for the first time could be overwhelming
for both of you. The question for him might well become, “How many of these knobby cardboard thingies can I smush
in the cracks of my bedroom air vent?” Mom can do everyone a favor by
spending time integrating each new skill at the various levels. Most specific
learning skills will begin with this teaching time between parent and child.
As the child learns the skill being taught, it can become an independent activity
for him. Some specific examples are book time, puzzle time, and tape time.
Each of these can become a twenty- to thirty-minute block of time in your child’s
daily routine. Let’s examine the specific skills you should teach during
the preschool years.
Getting Ready for Reading
It might be the wispy
artistry of the illustrations, or the glossy bold cover design, or the weaving
of the imaginary tale, or the oh-so-funny way the talking bear solves his
problem. Whatever the reason, who doesn’t
remember that first magical moment when a book became something more than
a book? It was truly a friend, the start of something new, or an opening
to another time and place. Developing a love for books is foundational to
becoming a good reader. To enhance this love, read to your child from the
start. Books such as Goodnight,
Moon and The Runaway Bunny are perennial favorites that preschool-age
children enjoy listening to while being cuddled by Mom or Dad. On the question
of book selection, it is all about variety. This could include heavy cardboard
books for playtime or fun and silly stories for reading aloud. You also might
read alphabet and rhyming books to develop phonemic awareness (sound/symbol
relationships). As you build your child’s library, be sure to include
books about nature and the world around him. Most important are books that
teach good character. Former Secretary of Education Dr. Bill Bennett compiled
an excellent resource for character training. His Book of Virtues should
be part of your personal library, and the stories contained within should find
residence in the heart and mind of your child.
Puzzles aids reading.
Puzzles develop a child’s ability to see how
one part fits into the whole picture. This is not just fun and games, but a
life skill perspective. Puzzles come in all different sizes, ranging from several
pieces to several thousand pieces. They generally begin as a parent and child
activity, but should quickly become part of your child’s independent
play. As a child’s collection of puzzles grows, the pieces from two puzzles
can be mixed. A sorting activity then takes place before the puzzles can be
put together. Keep the puzzles challenging, but not so challenging that the
child becomes overwhelmed.
Sequencing cards help
children develop a sense of the beginning, middle, and end of a story. These
cards can be purchased at an educational supply store. They typically range
from three-card sequences to six-card sequences. Introducing children to
the alphabet can begin with some kind of three-dimensional letters or alphabet
cards. These can be made of plastic, sponge, or wood. Choose a “letter
of the week,” and point out all the things in your child’s world
that start with that letter. Initially you just want to help your child hear
the beginning sound of a word. For example, you might say, “Yes, popcorn
and peanuts both start with P.” An alphabet book is very helpful.
Choose one with lots of different pictures for each letter.
Getting Ready for Math
In the beginning, it’s
all about patterns. The child on the kitchen floor with the plastic stacking
rings is learning the pattern large to small. For the preschooler, patterning
activities include but are not limited to bead stringing, pegboards, and
pattern blocks. When purchasing any of these items, be sure to include a
set of patterns to be followed. These activities generally require plenty
of parent involvement since preschoolers usually want to just play with the
objects. With patience and repetition, children eventually learn to follow
or reproduce the pattern, and the activity becomes much more rewarding than
just free play.
Calendar activities are
another good way to develop math awareness. A perpetual calendar works best—one in which the month, date, and day of the week
are removable pieces. These can be found in craft stores, educational supply
stores, or better yet, you can create your own. A very enjoyable morning routine
develops when your child gets to place the pieces into the calendar and reviews
the month, date, and day of the week. When the child is ready, it is easy to
teach the concept of before and after. Let your child guess what the date is
by looking at the number before and after the place for the current day’s
number.
Make counting a part of everyday life. Counting objects can take place anytime.
Count fingers, toes, blocks, Cheerios, spoons, or just about anything. Counting
out loud is a great activity for car rides.
Getting Ready for Penmanship
Getting ready to write
is generally an activity for the child older than three years of age. In
the beginning, writing and coloring have virtually nothing to do with lines
and everything to do with grip. Because the thumb and pointer finger are
uniquely wired to the brain, your child needs to learn to grip the pencil
between the thumb and pointer finger, letting the pencil rest on the middle
finger. The same grip should be used with crayons. It is very difficult for
a classroom teacher to constantly check on each student’s pencil
grip. Therefore this skill is best taught at home.
Help your child use relaxed
rather than cramped movements as he learns to color and write. Later you
will teach the importance of staying in the lines or on the line. But in
the beginning, correct grip and relaxed movement should be encouraged and
praised. Tracing offers your child many different opportunities to practice
correct pencil grip and to strengthen the muscles of the hand. The easiest
stencils to trace are the frame type, where the child traces around the inside
of the shape. Later your child can progress to shaped stencils, which must
be held in the center while tracing around them. Placing tracing paper over
simple coloring book pictures offers another opportunity to practice good
pencil grip. Children love the great pictures they can “draw” by
tracing.
Cutting also helps develop the muscles of the hand. We use the same fingers
for gripping the pencil and holding the scissors. Parents can teach cutting
skills by using one-inch by six-inch strips of construction paper. With a felt
pen, draw vertical lines about one inch apart on the strip of construction
paper. Give the paper to your child to cut. When he can hold the scissors properly
and successfully cut on the lines, draw diagonal lines for your child to cut.
Then progress to curved lines. Repeat this process with two-inch and three-inch
strips of paper.
Getting Ready for Art
You can call it craft time, cut and paste time, fun time with Mommy, or making
a prize for Daddy. No matter what you call it, know that time spent introducing
your child to various types of art media impacts his attitude about art. Preparing
your child to enjoy art involves both art skills and art appreciation. Art
appreciation in this context does not involve visiting a museum or evaluating
paintings, wondering what an artist was attempting to communicate. We are using
the term here in a generic and practical sense, with an emphasis on learning
shapes, sizes, colors, and patterns. Beginning art skills include cutting,
coloring, and learning to draw simple geometric shapes, such as circles, squares,
and triangles. These activities require a certain amount of fine motor development
that is not usually present until about three years of age. However, art appreciation
can be taught as soon as the child can match like items and put together simple
puzzles. Parents can purchase or easily make color cards to teach children
to match like colors. This activity becomes more difficult when varying shades
of each color are introduced.
A wonderful way for parents to teach children to recognize and appreciate
great works of art is to make puzzles out of copies of the artwork. After the
copy has been laminated, cut it into five or six pieces for your child to reassemble.
As the child grows, the picture can be cut into smaller pieces to increase
the difficulty. Museum bookstores have poster-sized art reproductions that
can make great floor puzzles. It helps if you also purchase a postcard of the
artwork for your child to look at as he puts the puzzle together. Keep an eye
out for used books that contain pictures of great masterpieces.
Getting Ready for Music
Children should be introduced
to music ASAB (as soon as birth!) or sooner. Keep a small CD or tape player
handy in your child’s room.
Classical music is a good place to begin. You may be thinking, I don’t really
know classical music, and I’m not sure I will like it. In reality,
you are probably familiar with classical music more than you are aware. Familiar
themes are used quite often in movies and advertising. Find several CDs or
tapes you like, and play them as background music during your child’s
playtime. Classical music is unlike other forms of music. It provides excellent
auditory stimulation for the brain as it has definite, orderly, mathematical
patterns.
Your preschooler’s music library should grow to have lots of variety.
You can include tapes of patriotic songs recorded especially for children to
help develop appreciation for our country and pride in being an American. Folk
songs are an easy way to begin learning about different people and times in
our country’s history. You may choose to use Sunday school songs that
will teach your child about good character and the love of God. Your educational
supply store or local bookstore will carry these tapes and CDs and may also
have some that use music to teach other academic concepts. Stock up, because
music is such an enjoyable way to learn, and it is good for the soul.
Encourage your child to
sing along with the tapes. Your child’s
listening skills will grow if you teach him to sing on pitch. For some children,
learning to sing on pitch is difficult and takes time. Always be positive
and encouraging. Otherwise your child may decide that singing is hard and
clam up. Make sure singing is always fun.
Rhythm clapping is an
excellent way to develop listening skills (in this case, auditory sequential
memory). Here is how this works. Clap a simple rhythm pattern and have your
child mimic it. As your child’s
listening skills grow, the patterns can become more difficult. This activity
can be enjoyed just about anywhere, although sometimes you may need to clap
quietly.
Getting Ready for History
If it didn’t really
happen, let your child know. That makes the events that really, really did
occur mean all that much more. Did Jackie Robinson really get jeered by the
crowd? How did he respond? Did Helen Keller’s
ears and eyes not work at all? How was she able to overcome those odds? Children
thrive on these lessons of life. Stories like these encourage your child to
enjoy history and take an interest in it. Give your child plenty of opportunities
to listen to stories about the lives of real people. They can be read from
books or listened to on tape or CD. Be on the lookout for short, simple picture
books and audiotapes that tell the story of historical characters. Story tapes
are a good quiet time activity and are useful in the car. Topics for beginning
history books include the story of the Pilgrims and the first Thanksgiving,
or the charity of the Patron Saint Nicholas and the Christmas story. There
are also some excellent videos and DVDs that should be used in addition to,
but not in place of, books and audio products.
Getting Ready
for Science
Take the morning after
a rain, a quiet street, and motionless worms scattered upon it, and you’ve got the makings for science. Yukky? Yes, and all
the better! Why are they here? Where are they going? What do they feel like?
How do they move? Preschool science can be summed up in three words: observation,
conversation, and exploration. Science is all around us, so teach your child
to be an observer. Observe the growing process in your own backyard. You may
even want to plant some seeds, water them, and watch them grow. Observe insects,
animals, the weather—whatever science is going on around you. This observation
should naturally lead to conversation.
Talk to your child about the world in which he lives. These conversations
will give him needed information and increase his vocabulary. You can use very
simple words to explain what happens when we plant a seed in soil, water it,
and expose it to sunlight. Do not become obsessive and feel that you must explain
everything to your child. However, do not miss natural opportunities to talk
to him about his environment.
The observation and conversation can be greatly enhanced by exploration into
simple books, videos, and games about science. A basic video discussing the
process of how the body heals a cut can have your preschooler expounding on
white blood cells, platelets, and fibrins in no time at all. This is good not
just for impressing your mother-in-law; your child may actually come to understand
some complex workings of the human body. At the very least, he comes away with
a greater appreciation for the workings of living things.
Libraries and bookstores
have beautifully illustrated picture books about animals, the seashore, the
woods, and many other science topics. Most libraries also have videos of
nature and animals available as well. Educational supply stores and catalogues
carry colorful puzzles and simple matching games about animals and ocean
life. The key is to keep it simple and on your child’s
level. Remember, you are just laying the foundation.
Getting Ready for the Teacher
For a number of years I taught a kindergarten class for four-year-old children.
I expected to spend the first week of school teaching the children classroom
habits and procedures. The transition to school was easiest for the children
whose parents had already taught them appropriate school behavior. Certainly
a good teacher will explain all of this to the students, but children will
feel so much more confident if they know what to expect and what will be expected
of them. An experienced teacher always appreciates the child who just seems
to know what to do, and the inexperienced teacher finds the prepared child
to be a godsend. Some of the behaviors you will want to teach include:
- Standing
and walking in line
- Raising
your hand and waiting to be called on
- Listening to the
teacher and following directions
- Not
talking or whispering to other students while the teacher is talking
- Not
talking or whispering to other students while children are working quietly
at their desks
You can easily teach your child these behaviors by explaining the correct
behavior and following up with a fun time of practicing the behavior. For instance,
you can teach that when the signal is given to get in a line, you should walk
to the designated spot and stand behind anyone who is already in line. Stand
with your face forward and your hands at your side. Keeping your face forward
while walking in line is important. If you turn around and look behind you,
you will not know when the line stops moving until you run into the person
in front of you.
Next you can give your child an opportunity to practice lining up. You can
have fun laughing together as you demonstrate what not to do. This could include
pushing into the middle of the line or insisting on being first when others
are already in line. Assure your child that while he will not always get to
be first, he will eventually get a turn to go first.
Explain to your child that one of the problems in a classroom is what to
do when several people want to talk at the same time. This problem is solved
when a child raises his hand and waits until the teacher calls his name before
speaking out.
It is important to teach
your child to listen to the teacher when she is talking so that he will know
what to do. You could tell him, “We talk
to our friends during playtime; we listen carefully when the teacher is talking.” Help
your child be a good listener by teaching him how to stop talking. Children
who never learn this skill are hampered academically, and teachers find them
irritating. If your child loves to talk, practice riding in the car with no
talking for five minutes. For the talkative child, silence can be quite a challenge.
Have your child tell you what he saw out the window during the quiet time.
Silence is a valuable self-discipline and usually heightens a child’s
powers of observation.
As an alternative to talking,
you might play the game “What Does Mommy
See?” Start with one-minute increments and work your way up to five minutes,
or start with half-mile increments and work up to two miles. The purpose is
to help your child learn to focus, identify, and retain. You can work with
colors, sizes (tall, short, round, or thin), patterns, or almost anything else
you think is important. For example, pick several large items on the roadside,
such as the big barn, the bridge, the school bus, and the water tower. After
a minute, ask your child, “What did Mommy see that was big?” The
child’s job is to learn to recognize and file away in his memory possible
answers. Next move to colors. “Mommy is going to look for the color red.” Go
a mile and ask your preschooler what he saw that was red. This little game
is a wonderful substitute for aimless talking, and it increases your little
talker’s focusing abilities at the same time.
Getting Ready for Social Interaction
The final element of school readiness is social. A child who comes to school
with an understanding of how to behave in a classroom setting is more likely
to have a positive first impression of school than the child who is unfamiliar
with classroom and playground procedures. With a little bit of explanation
and practice beforehand, your child can be ready and even excited about starting
school.
Getting ready for school
also includes knowing how to make friends. This is not something children
automatically know how to do. Good social skills should be taught and practiced
over a period of time. Talk about things to say as “icebreakers” and
how to show interest in the other person. Introduce the concept of what it
means to be a friend and how being a friend leads to having a friend.
When my children were
young, I looked for friends I trusted who had children the same age as mine.
We would have exchange play days. One week the children would play at my
house. The next week they played at the second home and so on. Also stay
mindful of the importance of group play and activity versus a twosome activity.
Your child needs to experience playing with a peer at some times and with
a peer group at other times. ( Find
out more about school preparation in On Becoming Preschoolwise by
Gary Ezzo and Dr. Robert Bucknam)
Article
by Robyn Vander Weide
