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Parenting with Gary & Anne Marie: Toddlers

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Potty Training Readiness

Daytime vs. nighttime bladder readiness
It would be great if a child turned 2 years old, and through a peculiarity of nature, trained herself. But that oddity is not found in the natural course of life, and potty training is not an exact science with specific biological indicators popping out as to signal readiness like a Thanksgiving Day turkey. The best estimates of readiness anyone can provide are general age ranges. Potty training readiness falls into a general 6/16 normative sequence. Sometime between 22 and 28 months (a 6-month period), most children achieve daytime bladder readiness. Sometime between 24 and 40 months (a 16-month period) most children reach nighttime bladder readiness. Those statistics represent one obvious fact. It is possible and very likely to have a toddler day-trained at 24 months but not night-trained until 36 months or longer. While you may be hoping for faster results, this stills falls well within the “normal” range.

Under normal circumstances, when a child acquires the ability to interpret the bladder message (the mediating phase), his bladder can only hold sufficient urine for a couple of hours. These are indicated by primary and secondary signs of readiness, outlined below.

Primary signs of readiness

• Your toddler is staying dry for 2 or more hours at a time
• Your toddler wakes up dry after her naps
• Your toddler stops an activity while urinating or messing in her diaper
• Your child stands a certain way while holding on to her diaper as she eliminates
• Your toddler wants her dirty diaper changed right away
• Your toddler is interested in “big boy” or “big girl” training pants
• Your toddler desires to imitate parents or older siblings using the toilet
• Your toddler is able to understand and follow simple directions

Secondary signs of readiness

• Your child is able to sit down and play quietly for about 5 minutes
• Your child is able to put toys and other possessions where they belong on her own
• Your child is able to dress and undress herself
• Your child has a name for urine and bowel movement. (It is good to use the common words “poop,” “pee,” or “potty.” Do not use overly technical language or descriptions that might offend others or embarrass your child in front of others.)

Weeks and often months later, daytime bladder readiness is followed by nighttime bladder readiness. When potty training commences before 30 months, there is usually a delay between daytime success and complete nighttime dryness. That is because nighttime dryness requires more “growth” time. Your child’s bladder must grow to the point that it can store concentrated urine for 8–10 hours. In addition, the bladder-wake reflex must have time to mature. This is the mechanism that wakes us up out of a sound sleep when the bladder is full, so we are not incontinent.
Then there is ADH (antidiuretic hormone). The production and release of this hormone helps to slow the making of our urine. The body normally produces more ADH at night so that the need to urinate is lessened. If the body does not produce enough ADH, the bladder can fill, leading to wetting. With all of these factors playing into your training, no one really knows exactly when a child might achieve nighttime bladder readiness. We only know that based on normative statistics, the average range is between 24 and 40 months.

However, there are more factors. Just because a child’s bladder is ready does not necessarily mean the child is fully ready for training. Parents must equally consider the educational and volitional components of readiness.

Volitional readiness
Parents must also consider the volitional side of the readiness equation. Functioning as a wild-card variable in potty training volitional readiness can play the role of spoiler during the training process. While your child might be physically capable, and certainly smart enough to understand what is expected, she must also be a willing participant in your training. Potty training for bladder control then, is all about integrating the child’s ability to recognize bladder sensations with a volitional control of those sensations. Once able to receive the bladder message, she must choose to exercise her newly acquired muscle skills and elect to go in the potty seat, not in her pants. Her ability to check herself, sit for extended times on the potty, and then eventually to wipe herself, pull up her pants, flush the toilet, and wash her hands must be matched by her willingness to do these things. What will keep her on the seat and not wandering off to her toy box? Hopefully it is your parenting skills.

Think of it this way. A child who refuses to follow instructions for tasks she understands will probably not follow instructions for a task she has never experienced. Evaluate for yourself. How would you rate your 2-year-old child? Is she characterized by a submissive attitude to your general guidance during the day? Does she eat what you serve her at mealtime without insisting on a new menu? Will she stay put and play on a blanket for 15 minutes at a time? Have you been working on sitting skills? When you say, “Don’t touch,” does she comply? Does she submit to your instructions to come to you when you call her name at least 60% of the time?

If you can answer “Yes” to these questions, potty training will not only be easier but can be accomplished within a day or so. If “No” was your dominant answer, you can still potty train, but the process will be more difficult and take much longer. This is all based on a simple, self-evident truth. If you have to fight just to get your child’s attention, and then do further battle to keep her focused on a task, potty training will not be easy. The process requires a measure of success with both skills.
You can increase your success by adding some structure and routine into your child’s day. Potty breaks, a new activity for your toddler, will be easily assimilated into her thinking and become a habit if her day has some structure and routine. To learn more about the benefits of a general routine and how to establish a basic daytime routine for your toddler, please consider our book, On Becoming Toddlerwise. A full chapter is devoted to helping moms establish structure and routine for the welfare of the toddler and delight of the mom.

In summary, a child must be neurologically ready, meaning he has the ability to achieve mastery. A child also must be educationally ready, meaning he has gained the knowledge to achieve mastery. And last, but not least, a child must be volitionally ready, meaning he has the desire to achieve mastery.

Footnote:
Content of the article references information from Potty Training 1-2-3 written by Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo. All rights reserved.

Article by Gary Ezzo / Anne Marie Ezzo